Thursday, May 7, 2015

I Fell for a Vampire

Eight years after everyone else in the world, I picked up Twilight.  I never did see the movies or read the books when they first came out. I was in the smack dab middle of the day to day mothering of two toddler boys at that time.  I wasn't reading anything besides Good Night Moon and was probably watching Wonder Pets on a continual loop. But now, with the girl inside starting to get restless, I figured a good book would do me some good.  I had no idea what I was getting myself into.

I couldn't stop reading! After a long day of work, and running kids around, I'd get them to bed and start reading.  Laying in bed next to Hubby reading by the light of my iphone until I couldn't keep my eyes open any longer, completely loosing myself in this far away place. This world with vampires and mystery, and bat shit crazy head over heels heart stopping love.  I became a bit obsessed with it. I moved on to the next book in the series and in just days. Bringing the book in the car so I could squeeze 10 minutes in sitting outside the school before I grabbed the kids.  All I could think about was Edward and Bella.  I sent this text to my BFF...

After I completed the second book, I had to wait for the third to arrive in the mail.  I didn't have it handy to immerse myself in.  I had to get back to reality.  It took a couple of days to wake up from the fairy tale induced trance.  When I did, I was surprised at what I felt. Confused, a little sad, very restless, slightly melancholy about life.  I had been part of this passionate, surprising, intense world for the last week, in my head anyway.  And here I was, back to the same ol'...regular, unexciting, very busy life.  But now that I didn't have a book in my hand, and I was on a new sleep schedule thanks to the reading until midnight thing, I had time to think after I got the kids to bed each night.

I wasn't obsessed with Edward and Bella, I was envious of their existence.  Of the way her heart would stop when he touched her.  Of the way they memorized each others faces every chance they got.  Of the way they were discovering new things about each other all the time and loving every minute of it. It was all about them, their desires.  My life is not all about me and my hubby.  It is not a dark and mysterious, breathtaking existence that we live together.  It's real life. It's work hard and play not as hard.  It's conversations on how to handle kid problems and what the schedule looks like for the month.  It's knowing we need to make more time to enjoy our life, but really never doing it.

But you know what?  It is REAL.  It is life, and we are doing it together. No, I don't fly through ominous dense forests on my vampire husband's back.  No we don't stare at each other for hours just because.  No my heart does not stop when he touches me.  But it does flutter a little sometimes. We try to remember to do little things for one another to let the other one know "I love you babe".  We hug each other tight when the other one wants to break down because of the kids last tantrum or the unplanned tax bill. We BBQ and drink wine and beer and enjoy each other's company on the weekends. We go on family hikes and to the beach.  We DO life together.  We love one another, and can even still turn each other on now and then. Life is not a fairy tale. Marriages die and families are torn apart every day because someone can't deal anymore.  Someone thinks the fairy tale is real, and wondering why they don't have that.  They don't want to remember what drew them to their partner, what initially excited, attracted and interested them.  They give up.  I have several friends who have followed that path.  None of them found what they thought they would.  None of them found the fairy tale.

Stop wondering and start living the life you have, the best way you can.  Love the people in your life with all of your heart. Show them with your real life actions.  Love yourself.  Be grateful life isn't a fairy tale...not all vampires are like Edward!

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