Wednesday, September 2, 2015

Decisions Decisions

This post has been milling around in my brain for weeks now. With the start of the new school year madness, I haven't found myself in a place to sit down and put it all into words. But I can only hold off so long. When there is something burning inside, it starts to keeps me up at night. The little girl is whispering in my ear as my eyes flutter closed...."you have something to share, remember girlfriend...wake up, go do it now!" After a night time vitamin and a little meditation I was able to fall asleep, but knew I better get my fingers on this keyboard directly after dropping the boys off or she would be yelling instead of whispering. So, I made the decision, to look away from the floors that need to be cleaned and the laundry set to be washed, and give some time to my passion.

Decisions can be tough, more so, when our perspective on life and it's meaning is askew. I can remember being a little girl, probably about 8 or 9 years old, paralyzed with fear if I had to make a decision. What if I made the wrong one?! Surely it would be the end of the world as we knew it, and it would be all my fault! I have a terrible memory, but I can still feel the anguish. Somewhere along the line, that took a 360 for me. I became a decision making BEAST. I wasn't holding back, or worrying about the what ifs as much, I was making a choice and pulling the damn trigger. I still tend toward that way now. I find it difficult to have several meetings regarding the same subject to discuss all the what ifs and possibilities. I would rather look at the situation, make a choice, move on it, and see what happens. I guess I learned something after my childhood of stealthy decision making avoidance....what ifs only matter if you let yourself see them with fear in your eyes. What ifs are really no reason to stop in your tracks. So, what if...what if it doesn't work? Well, then you learn lessons you were meant to learn from that and try something else. The world is not going to fall into a big dank sink hole.

We, as humans beings, make thousands of decisions every day. THOUSANDS. As soon as we open our eyes it starts. Shall I push snooze? Ugghhh, YES! What should I make the kids for lunch? How shall I respond to that email? Do I really need to spend that $6.00 at Starbucks...DUH. Just stuff, all day long right? But guys, these aren't the decisions that matter. The decisions that really matter, are soul decisions, because remember, we are not just the skin and bones and brains, we ARE the soul. How can I bring the light today? How can I share love? The lady in front of me in this line is doing 3 separate transactions and my physical self is getting tense, what is the best way to react to this? My little dude is talking back and being sassy, I want to yell at him, what should my response be? I'm frustrated with people at work not pulling their I going to let it make me resentful, or am I going to choose differently?

Every morning, when we wake, we have the opportunity to set our intentions. We can decide how we want to live. We can decide to choose joy, even if we find ourselves in a situation that threatens to bring frustration and anger. We can choose patience, even if our initial feeling is REACTION. We can decide to share our gift and live our passion, or to stifle it, let it slowly die inside. We can let our long held ways of behaving just run their course, following easier paths that take no effort because it's just "how we are", or we can decide on new ways, that bring health and peace. What an awesome gift guys! That every morning, we get to wake up and start over. Really...throughout each day we can do that too. Maybe you fell back into a negative reaction based on someone else's action or words toward you. No one can be a pillar of peace and light every second. Give yourself some grace. Decide in that moment to let it go, to refocus on how you INTEND to be.

I've been thinking about intention a lot. And as a family, each of us has things that we want to be or to remind ourselves of. Just little things to bring each of our own focus back. I admit, I spear headed this little revolution in my family, but it does slowly but surely seem to be taking hold. We started the school year with intention bracelets. I surprised the boys with them on the first day. My husband has one, and so do I. They aren't magic, but there are wonderful little reminders. I look at mine many times throughout the day. Mine..."Be a Light". I ask myself when I look at it..."Am I bringing light? How can I bring light in this situation? How can I leave this interaction with the other person feeling loved?" My hubs has "Breathe". He has been working towards not allowing circumstances to control his emotions. He is deciding to breathe, and remember that his reaction, to whatever the situation, is his choice and his responsibility. (That is one that everyone in my little tribe works on daily, with reminders from each other). Carter has "Fearless" to remind him, there is no reason to fear. No matter what, to have faith. Fear is a choice. To choose to not fantasize on the worst that COULD happen but on the awesome that likely will happen. Charlie has "Strong and Kind" to remind him that he can choose to be kind even when he is angry. And to remind him, even when he is feeling inferior to his brother, he is strong.

These decisions, these are the ones that MATTER. This life...we aren't guaranteed anything people. Although we look to tomorrow with hope and wonder, we can't live today like tomorrow is promised. We need to be thoughtful of our ways, of our intentions. We need to be conscious of how our actions and thoughts affect everyone and everything. Do we want to bring hope? Do we want to bring strength and grace and love? Do we want to judge harshly, ourselves and the world? Do we want to be fearful and skeptical? Do we want to feel powerless because there is "nothing we can do?" There is always something we can do. WE CAN DECIDE!

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