Wednesday, October 28, 2015

I Just Turned 40 and I Want to be Like Gumby

Today I turned 40. Fooorrrty. It looks weird in print. That kinda seems like a big number. And ya know what, it is! It is a fricken' big rockin' number. I'm really stoked to be 40. Much happier about it than I thought I would be actually. I feel a little older, but in a good way. I guess it's not really older I feel...I believe it's actually wiser. Wiser. Yes, wiser. I like it.

This last year of my 30's has been interesting. A lot of growing and changing came to fruition this past 12 months. A bunch of stretching (physically and otherwise). Twisting and turning, sometimes painfully. I mean growth isn't painless now is it? We all know about growing pains. Growth spurts hurt a little. But, when the soreness subsides, you are stronger, in whatever way it was that you were supposed be.

I am excited about my new decade, I feel like big things are afoot. I feel like this last bought of growing cracked me open pretty wide. Like, wooosh, out I flew, all lit up and on fire. So I've thought a lot about what I want to be. The presence I want to be in this world we live in. What do I want to leave behind? Not when I die, but when I leave a room. How do I want those people left behind in that room to feel? And why do I care? I want them to feel loved, I want them to feel heard, I want them to feel embraced in a big cozy tight hug. I want them to feel understood. I want them to feel a little bit of joy in their heart, if even for a few minutes. Why? Why do I worry so much about what other people are feeling about themselves or their lives? I'm not really sure honestly. I just know I want to bring the light to every dark space. I believe in being forthright. In not beating around the bush and in just being real. Being who you are, right now, at this time in your life. Because I know we have SO much to learn from one another, if only we realllly knew, reallly knew what other people were living. Now, I know...everyone is not comfortable with that. Just reading that probably made some people barf in their mouth a little. And I'm not saying we all need to have these major revealing heart emptying conversations with every Joe Schmo we end up in a room with. All I'm saying is I believe we would all benefit from authenticity.

So what does all of this have to do with Gumby. And, for the youngsters reading this....who the hell is Gumby. For your reference I will add a picture :) I've decided Gumby had it all figured out and was pretty much a green rubber yogi. Let's look at these very convincing points:

Gumby was super bendy. He was so extremely flexible. Like that guy could take his leg and wrap it around his own neck! So why is this important and why does that make me want to be like him? Well, besides the obvious fact that I think every girl I know would like to be able to throw her leg around her neck and show it off if she could, it's the bendiness itself that is the qualifier here. Bendiness in life is crucial. We have got to be able to move with the punches, to go with the flow. Some of us are born bendy. Naturally flexible, and not ridged, Easily adaptable. Willing to see the grey, and not only the black and white. Those people...well, I was not born one of those people. I have worked the last 2 decades at being bendy, at purposefully relieving myself (and the people around me) of the "my way or the highway" (which of course was the RIGHT way) characteristic that I was born predisposed to. As far back as I can remember I was that way. I was bossy, a stickler for the rules and laying down the law, color blind and stiff as a board. I just took a long, cleansing, relaxing breath after writing that, because just remembering it made me tense. That was it...constant tension, like a guitar string strung way too tight. You can't really grow in that place. There is no room in your little box for anything to stretch out or open up. Not your body, not your mind, and most definitely not your heart. So if you, like me, have to put work into being flexible, I encourage you to do it. I know it is uncomfortable at first. It hurts to stretch. But if you can not bend you will break and that isn't going to do any of us any good.

Gumby was strong, like freakishly strong. I can attest to this because I distinctly remember trying to cut his foot off. I can't tell you why, I wasn't a violent child, but I did like to use my scissors. All my barbies had bad feathered Charlie's Angles hair. So anyway....I remember trying to cut his foot. It was impossible. The rubber was tough and the wire underneath was strong. Maybe if I had a pair of gnarly wire cutters, but I didn't have any of those in my "make up kit". We all want to be strong. And admittedly, sometimes we nedd to have thick skin. We can't take everything personally or we would be a big ol' mess. But to be the right kind of strong is the key. Strong AND bendy...that is the magic. Strong in love. Strong in joy. Strong in determination and perseverance. Strong in mind and body.....and flexible. Abracadabra,

Gumby was colorful. I mean he was bright green. I still tend to gravitate towards muted colors and neutrals in terms of my dress. My closet is a sea of grey, tan and black. But colorful doesn't necessarily mean I have to wear coral, I can just feel coral. I don't have to paint my house turquoise, or even my nails for that matter. I just need to feel turquoise, and to see it. To take in the color all around me. The beauty that is everywhere if we choose to find it and focus on it. For some, being colorful is a tough one. They aren't as able to find the beautiful colors in the drabness of everyday life. But that is why it's so important for those of us that can, to share it! To point it out, To shine the light on it.

I started practicing yoga about 6 months ago. It has helped me tremendously in all of these Gumby like areas. I haven't just been working on my body's strength and flexibility, I've been working on all of me. I've been learning to accept my predispositions and remember the person I believe that I am in spite of them, and really because of what they have taught me. I have given myself permission to not be great at it right away. There is so much to learn, so many itty bitty details to each pose. I have to be graceful with myself. I give myself credit for the work I put in and progress that I make. I keep in my mind's eye where I want to be, and I keep stretching, and growing and learning. It's fun. It makes me stronger, more peaceful, more forgiving of myself and others. It helps me to be bendy.

So here's to 40! It's gonna be awesome, I just know it. I feel it in my bones guys! Thank you for journeying with me.

Big love!

<3 Trisha

1 comment:

  1. I love it Sissy! I love that you used Gumby in your blog. I want to be more like him too 😉