Tuesday, May 31, 2016

Reinventing Home

Home. What is home, really? Is the structure that you live in home? The place where you shower and sleep when you aren't running around the outside world. Is home the people that live in the structure with you? Your family? When you think of home, do you really think of them? Not so much the place, but the people you share the place with? Is home comfortable? Is it safe? Is it inspiring? Is it nurturing?

In the world right now, there are various types of homes. And there are so many, displaced, forced out, with no place to call home. Where is their home? What does home mean to them?

These thoughts, questions, have been rattling around inside of me for a little bit. With the political climate such as it is, I've been dreaming about what it may be like to call a different place home. I've been researching options, making comparisons, and throwing it out to the Universe. But it's one of those things...once you really start contemplating, your thoughts can go in so many different directions.

I've been finding myself asking, "what is home?"

How do I want to feel at home? How do I hope my family to feel at home?
What do I find are the most important attributes of home?
What do I want to my kids to remember when they think of home?
Is home a forever place, or is it ever changing? Is it a place at all?

One of the directions my thoughts, or more accurately, emotions, have gone, is to feel guilty. To feel like it's unfair that I get to even make these considerations when there are countless people, right this very second, praying for any kind of safe home for themselves and their families. They probably don't really care where it is. They probably don't care what the average temperature is. They aren't looking into what the health insurance options are or the unemployment rate is. They aren't considering how different the educational system might be. They are just praying for safety. For a home where they can walk down the street and not likely be kidnapped or killed. Although my heart breaks for them, I know guilt is not an emotion I want to carry, and therefore, let it go. I acknowledge the hardship those souls are enduring. I do not close my eyes to their pain. I hold a place in my heart for them all. I take measures to contribute to their cause.

The hubs and I have talked a bit and made mention in front of the little dudes, that we may explore certain possibilities. That although not very likely, it is not completely out of the realm of possibility that there could be a move in our future. The house we live in now is the only home my kids have ever known. Their first reaction to the whole thing, especially from my first born, was "no way!" What about their friends? They love our house! What about Grandma and Papa and cousins? Hubs and I remained calm and encouraging and really, without even talking about it first, went down the road of...life is full of possibilities. But those possibilities only manifest if you are open to change. Change offers growth and opportunities you would never know without the catalyst. Life is not certain. Life is not guaranteed. Change may not always be what you think desire, but it is necessary for your evolution, and always for the greater good if you allow it to be. This was huge for Hubs, as he has not been a big fan of change in his lifetime. He grew up with a dad in the Air Force. He moved ALOT. He often resists change now without even realizing it. He likes things status quo. But I think, as he talked with the boys, he started to see a different perspective.  He was rallying them, telling them about the times he had to do things that weren't in his plan as a kid because of having to move and change schools and friends, but how those times made him braver, and stronger, and things happened for a reason. He met people that he never would have met otherwise. It wasn't always easy, but it taught him things he needed to learn.

If nothing else came of this whole home change thing, that conversation was it. I want my kids to embrace change. I really do. Until the last few years, I too, was resistant to it. Now that I am not, now that I am open, the world is an entirely new place, with incredibly less fear and anxiety. There is nothing to feel anxious about, when you are willing to go with whatever comes. I want them to see the endless possibilities. To have faith in their ability to handle things as they come. Yes, I want them to feel loved unconditionally. To know without a doubt that mommy and daddy are always here by their sides. I want them to feel rooted so they can then lift their faces to the sky and fly. And I realize now, that in order for them to feel those things, they need to have faith in their own abilities to roll with the punches. Their own strength. Their own power. I want them to be the masters of their own universes, with a little help from us.

I want them to know, wherever they are, they are home.

So there it is. Our home. No matter where it is, or what it looks like, I want it to be the place where we feel nurtured and encouraged enough to be free. For us each to spread our glorious wings. A place where we embrace all the possibilities. A place where each one of us feels completely safe in being who we are, and feels supported in revolutionizing who that might be as we grow. That place is inside. That place is not the house. Not the country. It's in our hearts and souls. Home is inside ourselves.

Wednesday, May 25, 2016

Bringin' It!

Do you know what you are meant for? Are you clear on your purpose in this life? Have you discovered that thing, that special magical thing, that you are supposed to be sharing with the rest of us?

There are some of us that know. There are many that think we might know. Some that know but then change our minds because the thing that we feel that we are meant for is too different, too "out there". We decide we need to push that thing aside and strive for more of a successful, responsible, normal grown up thing. And there are some of us, that have no frickin' clue. Some that don't care, some that just can't dig deep enough or get naked enough to find it.

Most kids grow up having ideas about what they want to be. It's likely to change every few years, unless they are super duper passionate about something. I can remember a few of my early childhood "when I grow up" plans. There was the archaeologist, the nun, the teacher, the theologian, the actress and the writer. I had some lofty plans as a youngster! As I look at that list though, I see some ties, a quality or two that those professions, those callings, have in common or that compliment one another. The digger of history and knowledge. Whether it be hidden ancient artifacts or spiritual and religious practices and secrets. The teacher of minds, the caretaker of souls. The one who shares what they know and hopes to ignite a passion, hopes to make a difference.

For a long time, I forgot about those plans I made when I was 8 years old. I forgot about what my soul knew since before I was even born. I started working when I was 15 and just kept going. I went to junior college for a little bit, but soon realized I didn't even need to do that. I decided to work, to have a career, not a calling. To be a good banker, manager, administrator, whatever. To make the money, get the benefits and stock options and win the awards. It went well for over a decade and a half. There is nothing wrong with corporate life, if that is what you are meant for. But when you are climbing the ladder and feel like you are selling your soul, you are probably not doing what you are meant to do.

I forgot what I was meant to do, and I was smack dab in the middle of being a young(ish) married, new mom, homeowner, middle(ish) class member of society. I think most of us feel a bit trapped at that point. You have to work, to make a living, to support the family, the house, the cars, the stuff. You don't have a lot of time then to ponder on your lost purpose. But the time comes, when things get shaken up. Whether it is because of losing a job, or struggling through a difficult relationship, facing some kind of illness or loss. The universe decides it's time for you to remember. It's time to remind you about who you are and why you are here, what you are meant to be doing with your life.

When you poke your head up out of the aftermath, things are different. You are different, but the same. The same person you have always been, REALLY, before all of the masks, and costumes, and charades. And then you remember. Oh yyyyyaaaaaa! I'm here to share. To heal. To uncover. To bring the light!

I'm still working a job. A job that is not my passion. But, I'm also exploring my calling. I'm letting the memories of who I truly am sink in deep. I'm digging, and listening, learning, and teaching, sharing, and healing. I'm shining the light, hoping to make it easier for you to see. I'm discovering long lost truths that I'm compelled to share. I'm listening to nature speak it's healing sounds of nurturing and support. I'm a student and I'm a teacher. I'm healing through intuition, energy, faith and love. I'm bringin' it.

It's never too late to jostle your memory. And I promise, it doesn't hurt that much. It could be a bit uncomfortable, but much less painful then living a life without purpose. It may feel like there are too many obstacles. It might be scary to face change. You might think it's not worth all the hassle. But it is! It's everything. It's the key to who you are, underneath it all. We need you, to be YOU, in all of your magical glory. Because when you are living your purpose you are magical. Like medicine to the soul of the world.


Monday, May 2, 2016

The Box

As I talk with people, I notice things about them. I feel and see things, not things that they are necessarily trying to show me or discuss. Sometimes things they would rather me not notice. There are times when I will mention it, and times when I won't. Recently, I've been engaged in a lot of conversations about fear. Fear is a huge topic right? I mean there are so many ways fear manifests and disguises. So many areas of life where fear, in it's different forms, holds people in a prison they are not even aware of. It keeps coming up. People want to talk about it. And I could NOT love that more. I've been saying for a while, we need to expose ourselves to bless ourselves and bless others. We need to stop hiding around the corner, still as a statue, holding our breath, trying not to grab the attention of the boogie man.

I'm a visual person. Thoughts are often like pictures for me. For a while, before these conversations actually started, I was seeing people with boxes on their head as I looked round. Like tall, tan, cardboard boxes, open at the top, but shielding the persons vision on each side. All they could do was look straight ahead with this very narrow tunnel of vision, somewhat dark and crowded. Unable to see or sense what was around them. I wanted to lovingly say to people, "let your box down sweetie...even if it's just a peek over one side. I promise you will be so grateful for what you find." Although I did not speak those words at first, I thought them, and felt them. Then I started letting them come to my lips.

What are we afraid of? What will we see if we look over the side of the box? Are we afraid of what we will find....of the ugly, violent, angry world out there? Are we afraid of "bad" people with "bad" beliefs trying to push their agendas down our throats? Are we maybe afraid of what the people around us will see in our faces if we lower the lid? Will they see the anxiety? Will they see the "sins"? Will they see that we are unworthy and trying our best to pretend to be who they think we are?

Fear. There are too many manifestations to name right? Numerous phobias and disorders all come down to one thing, fear. Fear of something outside of us bringing us harm and/or pain, like a poisonous spider or a mutated germ. Fear that we are not good enough, skinny enough, pretty enough, smart enough, talented enough. Fear that we can't do it well enough so why even try. Fear that maybe we are unstable. The things we see, or feel just can't be right, because they are different. Fear that we, or people we love might die.

With our current political environment in the U.S. right now, all one needs to do is watch or read news or social media for less than 60 seconds to see the faces upon faces upon faces of fear. You hear people screaming, "Build walls.. bigger, stronger walls! Elect the right president or we are doomed!" Liberals vs Conservatives. Guns vs no guns. Transgender bathrooms vs singular gender bathrooms. All of this looks like anger. Feels like anger. But what is the source of the anger? Fear. Fear that if we don't build the walls "they" will come attack "us". Fear of people, with situations and cultures, and beliefs, that you can't understand. And if it is something other than what you can see and recognize through your shrouded box view, it must be bad. It makes you uncomfortable, so it must be bad. It goes against your religion, and your religion is the only "true" religion, so it must be bad. And if it's bad you need to be afraid of it. You need to stay away from it, or extinguish it. You need to make it go away, so this feeling inside...this scary knot in the stomach feeling will go away too.

I tell my boys, we all get scared sometimes. There are things that we see or hear, or imagine with our beautiful creative imaginations, that can bring the feeling of fear. It's okay to get afraid. We are human (for now) with bodies that have certain physical reactions to perceived danger. Oh did you catch that?...perceived danger. So maybe we change our perceptions. Maybe we change the way we think and the way we come to immediate conclusions about fear and the feelings it brings. Maybe we don't run from fear but let it be there. Give it some space on the couch. Let it know, "I get it, I feel ya, I know you are here. I'm not going to hate you or push you away, but please don't expect much attention because I have far more exciting things to do. And as a matter of fact Fear, sorry to burst your bubble, but I will be doing exactly what it is that you are trying to get me to avoid..because there I find strength and freedom and new insights."

So conversations have been happening in my little part of the world. Just with a few people, here and there. But it's interesting to me. I'm seeing people lower their boxes a little bit. I'm seeing people realize new ways of thinking and perceiving. I'm watching people find freedom that they never understood they could have, and really didn't even know that they were lacking. I'm seeing souls around me opening up, embracing vulnerability, and accepting what is and what will be with so much less fear of the unknown.

There is a shift in the world, a tilt. People are waking up to who they really are. Realizing this human body thing, is a temporary home for the souls that we are eternally. People are shedding their skins, or cocoons, or shells and getting born again. Empowered, hopeful, authentic, real, soulful, mindful, true.

So my lovies, look at yourself from your Self. Do you have the box walls up high and tall? Can you bend one down if you do? Breathe, trust, and go.

<3 trishy